Flying

The week after DTS graduation, I stayed in Dunham. I spent time resting, praying, and figuring out what to do next. I knew I had to go back to Alberta, for a wedding and to work to pay my parents for outreach. But afterwards? I had no clue.

So after some praying, I hit on the perfect plan: Join the Media Team in Dunham, and share the story of the Chagossians. It was brilliant, since I love Quebec, Dunham, and Media. My hope was to work hard, gain support and come back in October for two years.

Then, on the 4th of July, I boarded two planes, and took off from Montreal. The first was physical, and brought me home to Alberta. The second was metaphorical, and I thought I knew where it was going. More about that later.

After about a month of being at home, Mom came to me and said she had some concerns about my future plans. One concern was that I didn't have a full-time job, and it looked unlikely that I would even pay back my parents by October, let alone have $15,000 for two years of staffing in Dunham. She said that I should re-consider my plans, maybe think about not even going back to Dunham. My world came crashing down. All the plans that I thought were so solid suddenly weren't.

And in that moment I realized that my future plans were just that: MY plans. Not God's plans. My intense desire for certainty after DTS led me to rushing ahead and planning out my life. Big oops. That was when I realized that certainty doesn't come from circumstances. Certainty can only be found in God and His unchanging character.

But it was an awful feeling having my dreams die. To be fair, God did warn me. In that last week after Graduation, Isaiah 55:8-9 kept coming up.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts."

I also had a prayer time with a couple other girls, to pray about our future. And both of them warned me that God could take me on a different path than I was expecting. I was scared, but they said that it was good, and exciting. So God in His grace warned me that things would happen differently to what I thought they would.

I had no idea what was coming next. I still don't. I have hints, but nothing definite. God has made it clear that now is a time for learning and growing deeper roots. That means I work part time, and spend lots of time reading and talking with God (and checking Facebook way too often. . .).

My plans are up in the air. I feel like I'm flying, only I don't know where this airplane will land. In the mean time I have a choice. I can sit in my chair and be annoyed that I'm stuck in airplane for who knows how long. Or I can enjoy the view, talk with people around me, read books, rest, and watch movies. I don't know where I'm going. But I know the Pilot, and He is trustworthy. 

God and Stitch Rippers

Today I lost my stitch ripper.

It's kind of a big deal for someone who sews. Especially since I had to pull out some stitching in order to fix a dress. I searched, but it wasn't in the usual places. Of course. That's what makes it lost.

I asked God, "Where is it?" I can't work on this dress until I find it! But all I heard was silence.

So I went off and did something else. Then I realized maybe I was asking the wrong question. So as I walked into my room, I said, "God, could you please help me find my stitch ripper?" Instantly, "Yes. Look behind the sewing machine." I walked directly to the machine and looked behind it, and sure enough, there it was. This conversation took less than five seconds.

The craziest thing is that God cares about lost stitch rippers. Not because of the thing themselves. But because it's important to me, and I'm important to him.

It's such a wild idea. God, the creator of Jupiter and winter and the Indian Ocean, God who parted the Red Sea and the rushing Jordan River, God whose holiness could frizzle us with one peek, this God cares enough about us -- about me -- to show a missing stitch ripper.

A Bit More About Mauritius

Let me be Canadian and apologize first. Sorry for not posting much about our trip to Mauritius. I didn't have the energy to devote to blog posts. And now, looking back, I see it's for the best. Some stories are best shared in person, not over the internet.

We left Mauritius two months and two days ago. I miss the people we met there, and I'm very grateful for the time we got to spend on such a beautiful island with warm, hospitable people. God taught me a lot in the time I was there, and the trip and lessons learned are continuing to impact my life.

One big lesson I learned was that I don't have to do it by myself. I had this mentality that I was responsible for many things, maybe even everything. And that's not true. I felt responsible for being responsible, responsible for saving the world. But that's God's responsibility. The world does not rest on my shoulders. I don't have to do it by myself. I have team members, family, friends, God. Other people are working for the same goal. I'm not alone in this. It was hard to let go of my independence, but it was so freeing knowing I didn't have to do it all!


And now, for a story from Mauritius. . .

The day we arrived in Mauritius, we were sure we had landed in Paradise.
Beaches, palm trees, warm weather, flowers everywhere, birds singing, banana trees in our back yard.
Look at this picture to get an idea.

Yep, Paradise. But that evening we were sitting outside eating supper. And the giant spider appeared. It was a female huntsman, about the size of  a 12-year-old's hand. It was crawling on the ceiling, and we couldn't squish it, because it was carrying an egg sac. If you squish the egg sac, you get thousands of teeny-tiny baby huntsmans. Ew. Aurélie and I were not impressed. Ok, we were shrieking and pulling our legs up on to our chairs. Spiders don't bug Céline. Eventually the spider ran away, and we nervously resumed eating supper.

Then it was time to go to bed. We were super jet-lagged, and very excited to sleep. Until we saw another huntsman in our room. Spiders in the dining area outside are one thing. Spiders in your bedroom when you're trying to sleep are another, much more frightening thing. Aurélie and I were freaking out. Even though we had huntsmans in Australia, I never liked them. To make things worse, the spider disappeared into the light fitting, and we didn't see it again. The thing I hate more than seeing a spider is seeing one and then losing sight of it.

So Aurélie and I decided to pray. We figured since God is the Lord of everything, He's also Lord over spiders, and He could tell the spider to leave. I also remembered a story about a girl in Costa Rica whose friend prayed every day that there would be no cockroaches in her bed, and there never were, even though the other people around her had bugs in their bed. So we prayed that the spider would go away, and that God would keep the spiders out of our room for the whole trip, and that we would be able to sleep unafraid and peacefully.

We didn't see the spider again that night, and slept well.

A couple evenings later, Aurélie found this:

EW! Aurélie very courageously carried the glass with the spider in it outside, where she flung the water and the spider as far away as possible.

So, you may say that God didn't answer our prayer. Well, He didn't answer it in the way we expected. Aurélie grew in courage that night. And here's the fabulous thing. The whole two months we were in Mauritius, we had a spider in our room only one more time. And that night was the night we were sleeping under the stars anyway, so it didn't count.

God answers prayer, even strange prayers from scared girls, asking Him to keep the spiders out of their room.

A Bit More About Ottawa

One thing I learned in Ottawa didn't seem very significant at the time, but I've since learned that it's more important than I realized.

I have read a bunch of books, heard sermons, and perused blog posts on evangelism. Somehow, I got the idea that true evangelism is always trying to work the gospel into every conversation, and sharing the salvation story with random people on the street. Asking questions like, "If you died today would you be 100% certain that you're going to heaven?" or telling people about sin and the cross and Jesus' free gift of life, or John 3:16 getting quoted a lot. I thought that I was supposed to continuously be scattering the seed of God's Word into people's lives. And since I wasn't doing that, I always felt vaugely guilty.

Consequently, when I started asking God who I should talk to, I expected Him to say everyone. When we were handing out flyers for Church on Wednesday at the University of Ottawa, I thought He wanted me to hand them out indiscriminately to everyone I met.

So I was very surprised when God said, "No. Don't talk to that person." or "No, don't give them a flyer."

The idea that God says "No" to 'evangelising' a particular person was completely new to me. It was freeing, but went against what the books and blogs and sermons had told me.

Now I see why He says "No". Firstly, I'm not responsible for saving everyone, or anyone. That's His job. My job is to respond to what God says. Maybe that person just needs a smile and a cheerful "Hello!" as we pass on the street. Maybe they're not ready to hear about Jesus yet.

And that leads me to my second point. People are in different places in their lives. They're individuals, with different hurts, needs, and preoccupations. One method of sharing the gospel doesn't fit everyone. God knows what each individual needs, and whether or not they're ready to hear about Him. If we go in with John 3:16 blazing, we might actually push that person further away from God. Maybe they just need someone to listen to them rant about how annoying their boss is. And in that moment, they'll get a taste of how God listens to them and cares about them. Maybe later they'll be ready to hear John 3:16, because someone listened to them.

Also, bringing people to Jesus is a team effort. God directs us. It's very possible that I'm not meant to talk to that person, because another Christian may be better suited to talking to them. Even if I do talk to a person, I'm building on a foundation that others have started, and I'm strengthening a foundation for others to build on. That person doesn't have to be saved RIGHT NOW, unless God specifically wants it that way.

Finally, talking to the wrong people at the wrong time sucks energy from us, energy that we need for talking to the right people at the right time.

To steal a quote from The Shack, our job isn't to be responsible, it's to be responsive. One method doesn't work for everyone. Listening to what God says, and following the Holy Spirit's leading are the most important things in evangelism. That, and love. Our aim should not be to convert people. Our aim should be to follow Jesus, and do what he says.

A Quick Update

I'm still alive.

I'm not the picture person on our team, so you'll have to wait until after Outreach to see any pictures.

Mauritius is amazing. God is more amazing.

I have lots of stories, too many for the blog. I'd love to share them with you once I get home. (Maybe I'll even have time and energy to divert towards writing blog posts.)

I'll be flying back to Dunham in a week.

I'm not excited to leave Mauritius, but I'm excited to be going home.

Arrival in Mauritius (Pt 2 - Random Observations and Thoughts)

Here are some of my impressions, thoughts and random observations from the first day in Mauritius.

• Mauritius is beautiful. It's so green here, and there's the ocean, and stunning mountains.
• There's so much variety in the vegetation here, both in the shapes of leaves and plants, and in the colours of green (and yellow). I recognize a bunch of the plants 'cause they're in Australia too.
• Oh, and it smells good. All warm and jungle-y and green.
• It's warm. We're sticky and sweaty. And the Australian part in me loves it.
• We got to dip our feet in the Indian Ocean. First time for me, and Aurelie. The beach smells really good.
• Mauritius is surrounded by reefs. So there are no waves breaking on the shore, they break way further out to sea, on the reefs.
• The water here is literally turquoise coloured. I've never seen ocean water that colour.
• They drive on the left. This is messing with my team's heads. I was slightly surprised to find that it feels completely natural to me. (Shouldn't be. When I'm tired I revert back to thinking of driving Australian-style.)
• I'm still not sure if the road out the front of our house is a street or a driveway.
• There are roundabouts everywhere on the highways. (Mom, you'd love it!)
• We took a detour from the main highway, because of roadworks. It was super cool to drive through towns where ordinary people live. (As opposed to places that are obviously touristy.)
• I wish Dara was here. She would love all the birds. There was a little red bird, and there's another brown bird with a black head, black tuft on its head and white eyes. There are also a bunch of weaver bird nests in the casurina across the road.
• I love houses in warm climates, where the distinction between outside and inside is blurred. The windows here are wide open, and we have barn-style doors to the outside, so you can leave the top wide open. Our bedroom 'door' is a curtain. There's a balcony off the girls' and guys' room. And the dining table is on the back verandah.
• I'm grateful for Wifi. It's really weird, though, being on the other side of the world, and still being able to do all my usual internet things.
• Baby pineapples are super cute.
• We ate breakfast on the plane at 4:30am Mauritius time. Then we had Second Breakfast at about 10:30am. We're becoming Hobbits.
• Not packing flip-flops was a BAD idea.

Now, to go find ways to stay awake until after supper. . . .

Arrival in Mauritius (Pt 1 - The Journey)

Please forgive me if this post is somewhat scatterbrained. My brain is running on little sleep and is currently jet-lagged.

April 22 was a day packed full of emotions and events. And actual packing. My finances for outreach were finally sorted out. The day before I had a bunch of money left to pay for outreach, and had no idea where it was coming from. I was stressed. Céline prayed for me, and I calmed down. God gave me incredible peace, and reassurance that I would be on the plane to Mauritius the next day. On the morning of April 22, it turned out I was doubly covered for the amount I had left to pay. So we were able to help another one of the guys who didn't have the finances for outreach. (His story is amazing. At the beginning of the day he needed $3800, the cost for the whole outreach. By the afternoon, it had all been provided for.) So at lunch there was an announcement that ALL the students had all the money they needed for outreach. Yay God!

We were also waiting on Billy's visa to arrive. Billy is part of the Mauritius team, but needed a specific visa before he could go on the plane. We were hoping it would arrive April 22, before we left at 2:30pm for the airport.

After lunch we had a time to say goodbye to everyone on the base. It made me realize how much I've come to love all the people part of my DTS and YWAM Dunham. I'll miss all the people going to Argentina and French Polynesia, and staying in Quebec. (I'll spare you the specifics of what I love about each one, 'cause they could take up a blog post on their own.) They'll have amazing stories to tell when they get back, though.

Billy had to cancel his plane ticket, because we had no word of his visa. But he still came with us to the airport. When we got to the airport, we discovered his visa had arrived. Bummer. We had to say goodbye to Billy at the airport, but we knew he would be on a flight soon after ours. Later we found out he would be on the next plane to Mauritius, and as I write this, he's waiting in the Paris airport to catch the plane here.

We flew for 7 hours from Montreal to Paris, overnight. We left as the sun was setting, and arrived early in the morning in Paris. (Time shortens when you fly east.) The ground looked like a patchwork quilt, with brown, yellow and green in irregular patches. The yellow is Canola. No fair. It's already blooming in April (in Alberta it blooms in July).

We had an 8 hour layover in Paris. We spent the first half sleeping, and the second half playing games around a table.

The evening of the 23rd we left Paris. The next flight, to Mauritius, was 12 hours long. I was at a window seat. Yay! We flew over the alps, and along the coast of Italy, so there was good scenery to see. Sunset was amazing; everything was subtle shades of pink, purple, blue and yellow. And stargazing from planes is EPIC.

We arrived in Mauritius at about 6am. So we got to see the sunrise over the Indian Ocean. After a bit of an adventure with immigration (nothing too bad, just lots of questions), we entered the country. Gary, one of the guys from YWAM Mauritus, met us at the airport. He and our leader, Ben, were both in Dunham for about a year together.

The airport is in the south part of the island, and where we're staying is in the north, so we drove for 1 1/2 hours through gorgeous, green Mauritian countryside. Then we arrived at the house. It's a largish house, in an area that's a bit more touristy. The house is owned by a lady from England (I think), who often hosts YWAMers and other people. It's a gorgeous place, and will be our home for the next two months.

After we got a bit of an introduction to our hosts and house, we unpacked. Then we went for a walk in an effort to stay awake, and went to the beach. It's right by a hotel, so there are lots of touristy things around. We came back, got to know Gary better, ate lunch, and I worked on a blog post. :)

Ottawa Outreach!

I just got back from nine amazing days of outreach in Ottawa.

After a week of outreach preparation, with lectures about different cultures, preparing material for outreach, and packing, our DTS went to Ottawa. It's a 3 1/2 hour drive. We stayed with various members from Grace Presbyterian Church, who showed us great hospitality. We would split into three teams (ArgenTEAMa, Mauritius and French Polynesia) during the day, and did all kinds of random things.

Things I Never Thought I'd Do, But Did in Ottawa:

• Lead a kids club.
• Lead another kids club (for a total of two times).
• Started conversations with random strangers on the street--and enjoy it!
• Double-Dutch skipping.
• Ate Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches that had been sitting in my backpack for some time.
• See actual artwork by M. C. Escher at the National Gallery of Canada.
• Wasn't scared of talking to homeless people.
• Handed out invitations to a church service, to students during exam week.
• Worshiped in public with a bunch of other Christians in the middle of a secular university.
• Lead a worship time with my team on Sunday morning.
• Ate a beaver tail.

As a team we also drew inspiring and happy things with chalk in a park, prayed with a Move-In group (more on that later), played Grounders on playground equipment, had a horrible time trying to find a Tim Horton's that actually had chairs, and toured the Parliament Buildings.

We spent a lot of time with the Move-In group. It's a bunch of people, in this case college-aged people, who move in to a poorer, rougher neighbourhood. Then they spend one night a week praying for their community, and just live their lives, build relationships, and show Jesus' love to the people who live around them. They really inspired me with their love for their neighbours, and their passion to reach out to them with the life and hope that Jesus offers.

This past week and a half was full, stretching and rewarding. I learned a lot, and was really impacted by all the people I met in Ottawa.

And now I'm back in Dunham. We have just enough time to do laundry and pack, because tomorrow I LEAVE FOR MAURITIUS!!!

I'm so excited!

One Thing I Don't Like About YWAM. . .

. . . is goodbyes.

This weekend, we've had many goodbyes.

Kyle and Carson, two of the French students (learning-French, not from France) left this afternoon. They've been here for the past three months, and are practically part of the DTS. We've eaten meals together, worshiped together, prayed together, and dressed up in crazy costumes for theme nights together.

Devon, one of the Compassion DTS staff, also went home this afternoon. He's taking a nine-month sabbatical.

Janelle, another one of the Compassion DTS staff leaves tomorrow morning.

The Montreal Urban Cultures DTS was here all last week. It was fun getting to know the students from the DTS and their teachers, playing games with them, having conversations, and doing mini-concerts with them. They left yesterday and this morning.

Our teacher from last week, Jeff Pratt, stayed and taught the Montreal DTS this week. He left this morning too.

There are so many hellos and goodbyes in YWAM. Our speakers come for a week at a time, and just as we start to get to know them, the week is over and we have to go home.

And about a month ago, the Compassion DTS came back from outreach in East Africa and Mauritius. We had a couple weeks of getting to know everyone from the DTS, and hear their stories from outreach. Then they graduated, and most of them went home.

It's hard, all these goodbyes. It's also tempting to hold back and not get to know people, because I know they'll be leaving in a week or two. I'm sometimes reluctant to really develop relationships ("invest in people", in Christianese), because I know that I'll just have to say goodbye soon.

(I'm not looking forward to the end of DTS. More goodbyes.)

But what is it that people say?

"It is better to love and have lost than to never have loved at all."

This is true. It is hard, loving people and listening to them, giving energy and time to relationships that you know won't be able to continue much longer. But God has been teaching me about living in the now, and loving the one in front of me. It's all I can do. I want to be fully present and love the people who are here now, because they are the only people who are here now. I can't love in the future or love in the past. I can't have conversations in the future or the past. Now is what matters, and God has called me to be fully present in the here and now.

And when it gets to hard, this is where I remember that love does not flow from me; it flows through me. God can give me the energy, attention and love that I need to develop relationships with people, even if I meet many people for only a short time. I can love without fear of running out of love, because God is my Source.

And this is also when I remember that this is just the beginning. Since pretty much everyone in YWAM is a Christian, that means we'll all be in Eternity together. I may see people for only a week here, but later there will be endless time to get to know them better. As Belinda, our speaker from a couple weeks ago said, we're going to be friends for eternity. This gives me hope.

I don't like all the goodbyes in YWAM.

But because of Jesus, every "Goodbye" is actually "Au revoir".

  

Creative Worship

First, a disclaimer: In this post when I refer to worship time, I mean a specific time that we take as community to intentionally worship God, often with singing. I believe that worship should be a 24/7 thing that involves our whole lives and all our actions, thoughts and emotions. But for the sake of easy writing, I'll be using "worship" in a more specific sense for this post.

 

 

Here at YWAM Dunham we have worship times on Monday and Friday mornings. Monday, we come together as a whole base, and Friday we have DTS worship times. When it's DTS worship time, we as students are on four different teams and take turns leading.

 

 

It's been really cool learning about different creative ways to worship. We are encouraged to pray and ask God for ideas, and to try new things. I thought I would share what we've done, and maybe you'll be encouraged to be creative with your worship times.

 



 

 

This picture is from worship time this morning. There were dropcloths laid out in the worship room, with paints and blank canvases, and if you felt inspired, you could go paint something. I didn't; I spent most of my time curled up on the couch talking to God. Other people sang, danced, sat, laid on the floor or laughed.

 

 

We've also. . .

• Gone into the woods (in -20 C weather), and sang songs acapella.
• Sang African songs and danced in a giant circle.
• Had times to just sit, be still and listen.
• Washed each other's feet.
• Waved flags and banners.
• Had "city walls" made of risers, but there were gaps in it, so we stood in the gaps.
• Yelled. "Who is like our God?!" "NO ONE!!!"
• Crawled through a tunnel into the worship room, which was decorated as a "tabernacle".
• Had paper and pencils available to make pictures and paper airplanes.
• Gone into the woods on a different day, to be still, and ask, "God, how do you want me to interact with creation?"
• Sang "I Will Wait" by Mumford and Sons, which isn't a "worship song".
• Pinned stuff to wooden crosses.
• And made paper flowers, which I'll explain below.

 

Last Monday, Sarah was leading worship. She's a visual artist, and likes to use symbolism and imagery. So, because it's nearly spring, she was thinking of trees budding and flowering. She was also thinking about almond blossoms, which are a symbol that's often used in the Bible (the golden lampstand for the Tabernacle, Aaron's staff, and so on). Almond blossoms symbolize watchfulness, because the Hebrew word for almond flower is similar to the word for watchfulness. It's a reminder that God watches over us.

 

So Sarah brought a tree into the worship room. . . . .

 

 

And then there was paper and fabric and tape and glue available to make flowers. The idea was to write things that we have been worried about on the flowers, and to turn those worries into almond blossoms, as a way of physically saying, "God, I know you're watching out for me, so I trust you and give up my worries." This is my flower below. 

 

 

 

Afterwards we had a tree full of lovely almond blossoms. 

 

I encourage you to get creative with worship times! God is the Ultimate Creator, the Master Artist, and He created diversity. There are so many ways to worship God, that I think it's a bit silly to limit ourselves to just singing and playing instruments. Have fun!

Outreach Location!!!

Whenever I told people I was doing a DTS, their first question after finding out I would be in Dunham was, "Where are you going for outreach?" (In YWAM we have three months of lectures, then 2-3 months of short-term missions where we put into practice what we've learned.) I would have to tell them I didn't know, because even our leaders weren't sure yet.

Last week, they were going to tell us the three locations for outreach on the Friday of Relationship week. But then we had lots of things to process that weekend, and we had art projects to work on. So they were going to tell us on the next Monday. (Father Heart of God week.) But then it got pushed back to Wednesday, and pushed back again to the Friday of Father Heart of God week.

Meanwhile, everyone was wildly speculating about different locations, and bugging the staff about it. If any of the staff mentioned anything about a foreign country, they'd be asked "Is that where we're going for outreach?" The suspense was intense.

So on Friday afternoon (FHoG week) we all gathered in the worship room, where three folding screens were set up, and we played Hangman to guess the letters and names of the countries we would be going to.

They are. . .




. . . Drumroll please. . .




ARGENTINA!
FRENCH POLYNESIA!
MAURITIUS ISLAND!

Each of the team leaders explained a bit about the country and what we'd be doing. Then we had the weekend to pray about which location we would be going to. We weren't allowed to talk about it with anyone, so that we couldn't be influenced by our friends' choices. It was so hard keeping quiet! We were all about to explode from curiousity.

We wrote down our first and second choices on paper, and why we chose that location. Then, on Sunday night (this Sunday, Fear of the Lord week), we all gathered together and had a big dance party, where we put our papers into a bag. The staff would then take them, pray about them, and decide on the final teams. We still couldn't talk about the location we felt God was sending us to, just in case people had to switch teams in the next few days.

The suspense was killing us all! Some people gave up and told where they were most likely going (not me). It was worse knowing where I was going and not knowing my team than not knowing where we were going.

But today was the Big Day; our teams were revealed! The staff blindfolded everyone, moved us into our groups, and then had us remove our blindfolds all at once.

I'M GOING TO MAURITIUS, and this is my team!

 

 

(Anticlockwise from me) Me, Céline, Aurélie, Ben, Stephan, Billy. Ben (with the beard) is our leader.

 

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS OUTREACH!!!

So, Why Mauritius?

Because that's where the Dodo Bird lived, obviously. And there's an underwater waterfall.

No, really there's more of a story than that. And those aren't the reasons why I'm going. In short, I'm going because that's where God told me to go. In long, here's the story:

Even before we knew when the outreach locations would be announced, I was thinking about where it would be cool to go for outreach. I was hoping for somewhere in Africa, or a Pacific Island. And then I heard that still small voice say, "You're going to Mauritius," and my response was, "Is that me or God? I don't even know if Mauritius is an option yet." (There was a fairly high likelihood, since YWAM Dunham likes to send teams there as often as possible, but it wasn't a sure thing.)

On Monday, the day we were supposed to find out our locations and the meeting got postponed, I was reading a prayer letter. The letter was for YWAM Canada, and it was hanging in the prayer room. I wondered what prayer requests Dunham had. I looked, and it said, "Please pray for our AMDTS students as they go on outreach to Argentina, Tahiti, and Mauritius." I had accidentally discovered the locations. So I kept them secret from the other students until Friday. I'm glad, though, that God gave me the extra time to think about it.

Now I knew Mauritius was an option. So things were becoming a bit more sure. But I've wanted to go to the Pacific Islands for a long time. I prayed more.

You need to know something about my character for the next part. I hate making equal decisions between two things, and I like it when I can find a way to do both things at once. So if I have to choose between a filmmaker's intensive weekend, or working on a drama-documentary, I'll find a way to do both.

When I thought about how I wanted to go to Africa and/or the Pacific Islands, God pointed out that Mauritius is technically part of Africa--and it's an Island! I could do both! (I also got the distinct impression that now is not the time to go to the Pacific Islands.)

My excitement and peace about going to Mauritius grew and grew. On Friday, when the locations were announced, Ben was talking about what we'd be doing, and at the end he said they want us to do media stuff. And I thought, "Yes, that's it. I'm going." It was sealed. I have complete peace and excitement about going to Mauritius.

And even though it was really hard keeping our thoughts to ourselves, and not telling people what locations we were going to, I'm very grateful for it. It means that I KNOW God told me to go to Mauritius, and when the teams were revealed, I wasn't upset at all. It wouldn't affect my decision knowing who was going or not. And actually, I am delighted with my team! The only sad thing is that we're separating from the rest of the DTS as they go to Argentina and French Polynesia. :(

I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT GOING TO MAURITIUS!!!

Valentine's Day

So I woke up this morning and this was on the door:

 

 

Reading again about God's love for me was a pretty amazing way to start the day.

 

Then we went downstairs for brunch. The room was decorated with heart garlands. The tables were set with napkin flowers and fake roses, and this was on the chalk board:

 

 

And that's not all! All of the men of the base were dressed up, in button-up shirts, waistcoats and/or suit jackets. That's when we knew something else was happening. They told of all us girls to sit down at the tables. After waiting for a bit, with all the guys in a huddle talking in low voices to each other, they moved to the front of the room. There, they said that they wanted to honour us all as women, and sisters in Christ, and that they were going to serve us brunch. So one man went to each lady, asked her what she wanted, and then brought back a plate full of pancakes, fruit, bacon and yogurt. They had prepared all of it (and they were going to do the dishes too)! Brunch was delicious!

 

And that's not all! Next, while we were eating, the guys moved to the front of the room again, and they sang a song that John and Dillon had written for us all. It might be too small to read in the picture, but here's a taste from the second part of verse 1:

 

I hope this isn't seedy, I hope I don't impose

We're not tryna win your heart, we're not going to propose

But we love you, we need you, the women of the world,

The mothers, the daughters, the sisters and the girls.

 

It was so beautiful, and I was smiling so hard!

 



 

And that's not all! The guys disappeared for a little bit, and then came back with a red rose for each of us! I was amazed, and felt so loved in a sister-in-Christ sort of way. This whole morning has been a huge blessing, and it really touched my heart and put a smile on my face. I am very grateful for all the amazing men here at YWAM Dunham. 

 

 

 

Me, Shaynna, Aurélie and Maria with our roses.

 

 

Shaynna and Aurélie, ready to tango.

A Week in the Life of This YWAMer

Hi! I'm still alive. This last week has been about Relationships. While the last week, on Evangelism, was intellectually intense, this week has been emotionally intense. It's really neat to see how what each speaker says prepares us for the next week, and ties up things from the previous week. And the speakers don't talk to each other beforehand! What God has to say comes out loud and clear. Funnily, each speaker has mentioned the Fish Barbeque in John 21, so maybe God is saying barbeque some fish? :)

Actually, here's what the speakers said about the Fish Barbeque:
Recognizing the Voice of God: When Jesus asks Peter, "Do you love me more than these?", "These" refers not to the disciples, but the fish, and thus, Peter's job.
Evangelism: We can spend amazing time with Jesus, but that doesn't mean we're going to automatically be radical for Jesus. Peter went right back to fishing after Jesus died. But after he met the resurrected Jesus, he changed.
Relationship: Jesus cares about his disciples, and wants to spend time with them. He was cooking breakfast for them on the beach, so they could all enjoy fresh fried fish together.


I would also like to give you an overview of what a normal week looks like here at the base.

A normal weekday is class from 9:30 (or 10am) to 1pm.
After lunch is 'creative release' time. This is when we're encouraged to go do creative stuff in one of the studios (dance, recording, visual art, sewing, etc.).
Then we have 'home projects', aka work duties. This lasts for two hours, but since I'm on the supper dishes team, I have free time. Yay! It's a great time to think, or do artsy stuff, go for a walk, or just have quiet time with God.
At 5pm we, the dishes team, clean a bit of the kitchen. Then we have supper at 5:30. After supper I do dishes with Shaynna, Anna-Elisabeth and John. We turn music up loud and generally have a good time singing at the top of our lungs while cleaning dishes.
Free evenings involve hanging out with friends, maybe playing games, or working on projects, or having quiet time.

Monday: We have cultural breakfast! We have to get up early, but it's worth it. Each week, people from certain countries make traditional food from their culture. So we've had Mexican bean sandwich things, Australian cheesy-vegemite scrolls, Tunisian Ojja (tomato-ish sauce with egg, eaten with bread), and South African pannekoeks. Swiss breakfast is next week!
Then we have a worship time with everyone on the base before class (DTS, staff, hospitality and maintenance people, french students and more. About 50 people total.)

Tuesday: First off is home cleaning. I clean the third floor of the old wing with one of the base staff. (I've now learned how to clean toilets. . . Useful skill to have.)
Next is an intercession time specifically for our DTS. We adopt an artist to pray for each time. Last week it was Tom Hanks, a couple weeks ago Cirque de Soleil.
Instead of 'creative release', we have community outreach. Stephanie, Céline, John and I go to the local home for aged persons, Residence Dunham. We play music and deliver snacks and chat with the peope there.
In the evening we have small groups, where we discuss books and life and eat snack food.

Wednesday: First thing in the morning us girls have Hawaiian Dance Workout with Jordan. Yay! So much core strength required.
(Also, speaking of Jordan, she and I usually on Wednesdays have a time where we get together one-on-one, just to talk and see how the DTS is going.)

Thursday: We have intercession time all together as a base in the morning. Our focus in February is Africa. Though this week we had a special time to pray with YWAM all over the world about visas and open borders.
During creative release time, we have art workshops. So far, we've learned about Biblical Warrior Worship, Sculpting, and Singing. Photography is next week.
In the evening we have Accendo, which is where we all go to the pub, have drinks (don't freak out, I drink juice), listen to live music, and then hear stories from our speaker of the week. It's a cool time to meet people from the community too.

Friday: We have home cleaning again, and then a worship time with just the DTS. Most of us in the DTS signed up for worship teams, so I'm making music with Stephan, Nicolas and Aurelie next Friday.
The class on Friday is also an application time, where we do more practical stuff, like make lists of people to forgive and then burn the list, or come up with a creative way to bless people in the community (like going to the corner store, buying chocolate and leaving it on the counter for the cashier. John did that, and I was with him, and it was fabulous).

On the weekends we rest, have Brunch on Saturday morning, and work on our journals. We also hang out and play games. Or go places. On Sunday, most of us go to churches in the surrounding area. I'm part of a very small church that meets in a community centre. We have testimony times, and sing along with YouTube videos, so it really feels like Haynes Community Church back in Alberta.

So that's a bit of what a normal week looks like here. The weeks are so full, but they fly by way too quickly! I've now officially been away from my family for the longest time in my life, but I'm only microscopically homesick, because my time here so far has been AMAZING.

Forgiveness

How to sum up the past few days? One word: Intense!

Yesterday, Derek talked about forgiveness. I'll quote him here:

"I truly believe that our only path to freedom is through repentance and forgiveness."

Repentance is not apology. Apology means saying, "I feel bad that I hurt you." Repentance is asking for forgiveness, deciding to change and then making a change.

I've struggled with forgiveness, because I didn't really know what it means. What does it mean to forgive people? From our class, here is are some lists that might help.

Forgiveness IS NOT

• Excusing, minimizing, justifying, overlooking or tolerating sin
• Getting even
• Conditional (If they say sorry, then I forgive. If they do X, then I'll forgive.)
• An obligation to trust
• A feeling
• A process (There can be process before and after forgiveness, but forgiveness is a choice.)
• Forgetting
• A one-time event (You may have to forgive the same person or action multiple times.)
• Impossible

Forgiveness IS

• A choice based on faith and obedience to God
• Doing to others as God has done to you
• A healing agent for your relationship with God
• Letting go of your rights to justice and anger

Our youth leader often says that forgiveness is taking someone of your hook, and leaving them to God.

Forgiveness is super important, because Jesus said that if we don't forgive others, God won't forgive us. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person; it's about our relationship with God. It begins and ends with God. Because God has forgiven us, we can forgive others.

We had some time where Derek let everyone write down who God wanted us to forgive, and why. Then we went through the list, and prayed to forgive those people. At first I thought, I don't know if I'll have many people to forgive. After all, I've grown up in a loving, stable home and community, and haven't had any crazy awful things happen to me. But I ended up with a page and a half of people to forgive.

God showed me that my response to people hurting me has been to overlook it, to say "Oh, they didn't really mean it, so I'll just let it go." And I thought I was forgiving. But forgiveness is not ignoring, excusing or justifying the sin and the hurt it causes. God made it clear that I had been wronged, that it was ok to be mad and hurt, because it was never meant to be this way. And strangely enough, that was what paved the way for true forgiveness. I had to admit that the other people hurt me, and that there was something to forgive.

After we prayed and forgave the people on our list, we went upstairs and threw the lists in the fire. It was done. Forgiveness really does bring freedom. I asked God to show me what forgiveness is, and he showed me part of it. Forgiveness is realizing that someone has wronged me and sinned against me and hurt me, and yet with God's help, I CHOOSE to give it over to God, turn the other cheek, and bless those people instead of curse them (however many times are necessary). That's what Jesus did.

There is no other word in English that means the same thing as forgiveness. It is its own thing, and the definition is found in Jesus.

Recognizing the Voice of God

Hello!

Wow, this last week has been so full! I'm learning so much about God, and living in community, and having lots of fun doing it!

Here are a few things that I've done in the past week:

• Fed the dragon. (aka the wood-burning furnace/water heater)
• Learned how to say "Je ne comprends pas" and other useful phrases in French.
• Sang many worship songs in French (and English).
• Spent time in the prayer bathtub.
• Washed dishes for 40+ people. Multiple times.
• Tidied up the costume closet with Anna-Elisabeth, and learned more about life in Germany. Then had a dance party afterwards, when Stephan and Billy came to help.
• Had a couple great deep conversations with my amazing one-on-one, Jordan. (Who's a girl, by the way. Don't get ideas.)
• Learned the basics of Hawaiian dancing.
• Spontaneously broken into song with people many times.
• Eaten home-made maple syrup.
• Learned about different ways of worshiping (spinning, shouting, kneeling, raising hands, dancing, and more), and tried a few of them out.

It's so hard to describe all the things that have happened, and all the things we're learning in such a short blog post.

~~~~~~

This week our speaker is Derek, from Hawaii. He's talking about Recognizing the Voice of God. Note that it's not hearing the voice of God, but rather recognizing. God is speaking; our main problem is that we're not listening, or that we don't realize it's Him.

Derek has been talking about the character and nature of God for the last three days. Because after all, if we want to recognize someone's voice, we have to know who that person is and get to know them before we can recognize what they're saying. God is Creator. God is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished. (Ex 34:6-7) He wants relationship with us. You can't have relationship without speaking and listening. God wants to speak to and with us.

Talking about recognizing the voice of God, or saying "God told me. . . ." to other people tends to make me uncomfortable. Mostly because I don't want people to have the idea that I'm super-spiritual, and that's why I can hear God's voice. I'm not super-spiritual. I believe that hearing the voice of God should be a normal thing, most especially for Christians. Derek said today that there is no such thing as becoming more spiritual, which I thought was a cool concept. We already have a spirit. It's like saying I'm trying to become more human. Or more female. Our spirits can be healthy or unhealthy, but you can't get more (or less) of them.

So when I say, "God told me" or "God said", I'm not trying to be better than you, or impress you with my uber-Christianness. I have a relationship with God; therefore, we talk. And that's that.

Soooo. . . . Now I'm going to tell you a story. I love the way God is concerned with the everyday details of our lives. On Sunday I had finished my quiet time, and didn't know what to do next. So asked "God, what should I do now?" and He said, "Why don't you go downstairs to the encouragement board?"

This is where we put little notes and things to make people smile.



And my response was "Pfffft, why? I bet no one has put anything in my jar." And it was like God just smiled and said, "It's up to you." But I didn't really have anything else to do. So on a whim I grabbed my pencil and some sticky notes, and headed downstairs. Sure enough, my jar was still empty. But then I had an idea for a note. And then Shaynna and Anna-Elisabeth came down the hallway. And to make a longish story shorter, we had a grand time writing notes, and soon everyone's jar held something. All because God had a cool idea, and I actually paid attention.

You might be wondering, "What does it sound like when God speaks to you?" Well, I've never heard an audible voice. Usually, it sounds a lot like my own thoughts, only better. It always lines up with the Bible and God's character (if I hear a voice telling me to hang onto bitterness, for example, it's not God). Sometimes it's a crazy idea. Sometimes it's an impression. And sometimes it's an actual sentence. And I'm still learning how to recognize Him.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's class on recognizing God's voice, and practical steps to do that.

~~~~~~

PICTURES!!!

 

Me and Jordan, ready for bowling!

 

 

The woods across the road, which YWAM owns.

 

Artsy pictures from the woods.
Because this IS and Arts and Music DTS.

An Introduction to the Base

We're only halfway through orientation week, and wow, we've had some jam-packed days! I can't believe it's only Wednesday, and I've only been here for five days.

There are 18 people in our DTS, and five staff members. Sarah and Dan are the leaders, and they're from Ontario. Then we have people from all over the world. There are lots of people from Canada (mostly Ontario and Quebec). Four of us are from Canada and another country: Australia, Burma, Tunisia and Mexico. Then we have others from Switzerland, Germany, Australia, and South Africa. Other people on the base come from Cameroon, Ghana, France, and other places. It's such a neat international community! I'm learning a bunch of French, and a tiny bit of South African and German.

This week has been focused on getting to know each other, and getting to know the house and the routines here. We had an introduction to YWAM, and what our DTS will be like. We've had tours of the house. We've been assigned to different teams (I'm on dishes), and chosen our laundry times.

Today and yesterday we spent fifteen minutes each telling the other DTS members our stories, sharing about how we met Jesus, and what brought us to YWAM. It's been really neat to hear how unique and inspiring every person's story is.

We also have lots of fun here! We played Sardines a couple nights ago, in the dark creepy-ish basement that goes on and on and on. It was a good introduction to the house :) . The next day on our tour of the property we had an impromptu snowball fight. And last night we were told to dress up in crazy costumes, the crazier the better, and then we were going to drive somewhere. The staff didn't tell us where we were going. After about half an hour, we arrived at a bowling alley. It was grand fun bowling in our crazy outfits, hollering and yelling encouragements at whoever was up next. I'm not sure what the professional bowling league next to us thought. I'm terrible at bowling, but it was still super fun. We've also had times to sit and talk, and play card games.

My favourite thing so far is living in a community.

You probably want to see some pictures of where I'm staying. Firstly, go to  http://ywamdunham.com/photos.htm and look at "Our Property and Community Activities".
The pictures are like real-estate pictures, but in reality things are much more comfortable and less spiffy than they look in the picture. And yes, the Prayer Room really does have a prayer bathtub.

Here are some of my pictures:

 

The hallway in the New Wing where the girls live.

 

 

The front of the house.

 

 

The east (?) side of the house. The large grey part is the gymnasium.
Can you spot our mammoth?

 

 

The back of the house where the old, middle and new parts meet.

 

 

Artsy things on a random window.

 

 

The west (?) side of the house.

The room where Stephanie, Shaynna and I live is on the second floor of the New Wing.

 

The entry way. Note the heater under the YWAM logos. That's what helps keeps the house warm. We have an actually fire furnace, that burns wood. Because the house is old, it's fairly chilly.

Dunham

I've arrived safely in Dunham. Thanks for praying! The flight was very smooth - no turbulence. But that may have been because I was sitting right over the wings.

I met the YWAM representative at the Montreal airport, and we waited for two other girls to arrive. After meeting Dorianne and Anna-Elisabeth, we drove for an hour or so to the village of Dunham. Dorianne is from Switzerland, and Anna-Elisabeth in from Germany. Both of them speak French and English.

We received an enthusiastic welcome from the staff when we arrived at the house, and then got shown to our rooms. I have two room mates, Stephanie from Thunder Bay, Ontario, and Shaynna from Shelburne, Ontario. We then went on a tour of the house, and met more people. I'm still learning everyone's names. There are people from Quebec, from Nova Scotia, Germany, Switzerland, three people from Australia (Yay!!!), a couple from South Africa, and others from other places that I don't remember. The one staff girl from Nova Scotia pioneered a DTS in Sydney, Australia, so she knows about Nowra!

The YWAM house is huge, and old. The main part of the house was built in the late 1800s. One extension was built in the 1910s, another in the 1930s and the newest section was built in 1963. There are class rooms, a dance studio, recording studios, arts room, prayer room, gym, library, and all that in addition to the usual kitchen, bathrooms, dining rooms, and so on.

Now we're going to go explore the house, and then go explore the village of Dunham. DTS starts tomorrow night. Yay!

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

I fly to Quebec tomorrow afternoon. 

The reality is starting to sink in. It started when we went to the Calgary Zoo, and I saw all the planes flying overhead, and thought, "Soon that will be me." It's one thing to say I'll be going to Quebec for six months to do a DTS. It's quite another to realize how long I will be away from my family. I'll miss birthdays, concerts, drama performances. I know that YWAM will be an amazing experience, and those six months will fly by. But now it's a daunting idea. I'm scared and I'm stressed, and I wish I could say I was confidently trusting God. But in my mind I'm screaming, "God, what am I doing?!!" Thankfully he says, "The right thing." And what he says I will cling to.

Please pray for a smooth and safe flight, because flying makes me nervous. 

I'm sure that in a few more days I will be much less stressed and more chipper. Trusting God is hard in the middle, but so worth it later!