Flying

The week after DTS graduation, I stayed in Dunham. I spent time resting, praying, and figuring out what to do next. I knew I had to go back to Alberta, for a wedding and to work to pay my parents for outreach. But afterwards? I had no clue.

So after some praying, I hit on the perfect plan: Join the Media Team in Dunham, and share the story of the Chagossians. It was brilliant, since I love Quebec, Dunham, and Media. My hope was to work hard, gain support and come back in October for two years.

Then, on the 4th of July, I boarded two planes, and took off from Montreal. The first was physical, and brought me home to Alberta. The second was metaphorical, and I thought I knew where it was going. More about that later.

After about a month of being at home, Mom came to me and said she had some concerns about my future plans. One concern was that I didn't have a full-time job, and it looked unlikely that I would even pay back my parents by October, let alone have $15,000 for two years of staffing in Dunham. She said that I should re-consider my plans, maybe think about not even going back to Dunham. My world came crashing down. All the plans that I thought were so solid suddenly weren't.

And in that moment I realized that my future plans were just that: MY plans. Not God's plans. My intense desire for certainty after DTS led me to rushing ahead and planning out my life. Big oops. That was when I realized that certainty doesn't come from circumstances. Certainty can only be found in God and His unchanging character.

But it was an awful feeling having my dreams die. To be fair, God did warn me. In that last week after Graduation, Isaiah 55:8-9 kept coming up.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts."

I also had a prayer time with a couple other girls, to pray about our future. And both of them warned me that God could take me on a different path than I was expecting. I was scared, but they said that it was good, and exciting. So God in His grace warned me that things would happen differently to what I thought they would.

I had no idea what was coming next. I still don't. I have hints, but nothing definite. God has made it clear that now is a time for learning and growing deeper roots. That means I work part time, and spend lots of time reading and talking with God (and checking Facebook way too often. . .).

My plans are up in the air. I feel like I'm flying, only I don't know where this airplane will land. In the mean time I have a choice. I can sit in my chair and be annoyed that I'm stuck in airplane for who knows how long. Or I can enjoy the view, talk with people around me, read books, rest, and watch movies. I don't know where I'm going. But I know the Pilot, and He is trustworthy. 

God and Stitch Rippers

Today I lost my stitch ripper.

It's kind of a big deal for someone who sews. Especially since I had to pull out some stitching in order to fix a dress. I searched, but it wasn't in the usual places. Of course. That's what makes it lost.

I asked God, "Where is it?" I can't work on this dress until I find it! But all I heard was silence.

So I went off and did something else. Then I realized maybe I was asking the wrong question. So as I walked into my room, I said, "God, could you please help me find my stitch ripper?" Instantly, "Yes. Look behind the sewing machine." I walked directly to the machine and looked behind it, and sure enough, there it was. This conversation took less than five seconds.

The craziest thing is that God cares about lost stitch rippers. Not because of the thing themselves. But because it's important to me, and I'm important to him.

It's such a wild idea. God, the creator of Jupiter and winter and the Indian Ocean, God who parted the Red Sea and the rushing Jordan River, God whose holiness could frizzle us with one peek, this God cares enough about us -- about me -- to show a missing stitch ripper.

A Bit More About Mauritius

Let me be Canadian and apologize first. Sorry for not posting much about our trip to Mauritius. I didn't have the energy to devote to blog posts. And now, looking back, I see it's for the best. Some stories are best shared in person, not over the internet.

We left Mauritius two months and two days ago. I miss the people we met there, and I'm very grateful for the time we got to spend on such a beautiful island with warm, hospitable people. God taught me a lot in the time I was there, and the trip and lessons learned are continuing to impact my life.

One big lesson I learned was that I don't have to do it by myself. I had this mentality that I was responsible for many things, maybe even everything. And that's not true. I felt responsible for being responsible, responsible for saving the world. But that's God's responsibility. The world does not rest on my shoulders. I don't have to do it by myself. I have team members, family, friends, God. Other people are working for the same goal. I'm not alone in this. It was hard to let go of my independence, but it was so freeing knowing I didn't have to do it all!


And now, for a story from Mauritius. . .

The day we arrived in Mauritius, we were sure we had landed in Paradise.
Beaches, palm trees, warm weather, flowers everywhere, birds singing, banana trees in our back yard.
Look at this picture to get an idea.

Yep, Paradise. But that evening we were sitting outside eating supper. And the giant spider appeared. It was a female huntsman, about the size of  a 12-year-old's hand. It was crawling on the ceiling, and we couldn't squish it, because it was carrying an egg sac. If you squish the egg sac, you get thousands of teeny-tiny baby huntsmans. Ew. Aurélie and I were not impressed. Ok, we were shrieking and pulling our legs up on to our chairs. Spiders don't bug Céline. Eventually the spider ran away, and we nervously resumed eating supper.

Then it was time to go to bed. We were super jet-lagged, and very excited to sleep. Until we saw another huntsman in our room. Spiders in the dining area outside are one thing. Spiders in your bedroom when you're trying to sleep are another, much more frightening thing. Aurélie and I were freaking out. Even though we had huntsmans in Australia, I never liked them. To make things worse, the spider disappeared into the light fitting, and we didn't see it again. The thing I hate more than seeing a spider is seeing one and then losing sight of it.

So Aurélie and I decided to pray. We figured since God is the Lord of everything, He's also Lord over spiders, and He could tell the spider to leave. I also remembered a story about a girl in Costa Rica whose friend prayed every day that there would be no cockroaches in her bed, and there never were, even though the other people around her had bugs in their bed. So we prayed that the spider would go away, and that God would keep the spiders out of our room for the whole trip, and that we would be able to sleep unafraid and peacefully.

We didn't see the spider again that night, and slept well.

A couple evenings later, Aurélie found this:

EW! Aurélie very courageously carried the glass with the spider in it outside, where she flung the water and the spider as far away as possible.

So, you may say that God didn't answer our prayer. Well, He didn't answer it in the way we expected. Aurélie grew in courage that night. And here's the fabulous thing. The whole two months we were in Mauritius, we had a spider in our room only one more time. And that night was the night we were sleeping under the stars anyway, so it didn't count.

God answers prayer, even strange prayers from scared girls, asking Him to keep the spiders out of their room.

A Bit More About Ottawa

One thing I learned in Ottawa didn't seem very significant at the time, but I've since learned that it's more important than I realized.

I have read a bunch of books, heard sermons, and perused blog posts on evangelism. Somehow, I got the idea that true evangelism is always trying to work the gospel into every conversation, and sharing the salvation story with random people on the street. Asking questions like, "If you died today would you be 100% certain that you're going to heaven?" or telling people about sin and the cross and Jesus' free gift of life, or John 3:16 getting quoted a lot. I thought that I was supposed to continuously be scattering the seed of God's Word into people's lives. And since I wasn't doing that, I always felt vaugely guilty.

Consequently, when I started asking God who I should talk to, I expected Him to say everyone. When we were handing out flyers for Church on Wednesday at the University of Ottawa, I thought He wanted me to hand them out indiscriminately to everyone I met.

So I was very surprised when God said, "No. Don't talk to that person." or "No, don't give them a flyer."

The idea that God says "No" to 'evangelising' a particular person was completely new to me. It was freeing, but went against what the books and blogs and sermons had told me.

Now I see why He says "No". Firstly, I'm not responsible for saving everyone, or anyone. That's His job. My job is to respond to what God says. Maybe that person just needs a smile and a cheerful "Hello!" as we pass on the street. Maybe they're not ready to hear about Jesus yet.

And that leads me to my second point. People are in different places in their lives. They're individuals, with different hurts, needs, and preoccupations. One method of sharing the gospel doesn't fit everyone. God knows what each individual needs, and whether or not they're ready to hear about Him. If we go in with John 3:16 blazing, we might actually push that person further away from God. Maybe they just need someone to listen to them rant about how annoying their boss is. And in that moment, they'll get a taste of how God listens to them and cares about them. Maybe later they'll be ready to hear John 3:16, because someone listened to them.

Also, bringing people to Jesus is a team effort. God directs us. It's very possible that I'm not meant to talk to that person, because another Christian may be better suited to talking to them. Even if I do talk to a person, I'm building on a foundation that others have started, and I'm strengthening a foundation for others to build on. That person doesn't have to be saved RIGHT NOW, unless God specifically wants it that way.

Finally, talking to the wrong people at the wrong time sucks energy from us, energy that we need for talking to the right people at the right time.

To steal a quote from The Shack, our job isn't to be responsible, it's to be responsive. One method doesn't work for everyone. Listening to what God says, and following the Holy Spirit's leading are the most important things in evangelism. That, and love. Our aim should not be to convert people. Our aim should be to follow Jesus, and do what he says.

A Quick Update

I'm still alive.

I'm not the picture person on our team, so you'll have to wait until after Outreach to see any pictures.

Mauritius is amazing. God is more amazing.

I have lots of stories, too many for the blog. I'd love to share them with you once I get home. (Maybe I'll even have time and energy to divert towards writing blog posts.)

I'll be flying back to Dunham in a week.

I'm not excited to leave Mauritius, but I'm excited to be going home.

Arrival in Mauritius (Pt 2 - Random Observations and Thoughts)

Here are some of my impressions, thoughts and random observations from the first day in Mauritius.

• Mauritius is beautiful. It's so green here, and there's the ocean, and stunning mountains.
• There's so much variety in the vegetation here, both in the shapes of leaves and plants, and in the colours of green (and yellow). I recognize a bunch of the plants 'cause they're in Australia too.
• Oh, and it smells good. All warm and jungle-y and green.
• It's warm. We're sticky and sweaty. And the Australian part in me loves it.
• We got to dip our feet in the Indian Ocean. First time for me, and Aurelie. The beach smells really good.
• Mauritius is surrounded by reefs. So there are no waves breaking on the shore, they break way further out to sea, on the reefs.
• The water here is literally turquoise coloured. I've never seen ocean water that colour.
• They drive on the left. This is messing with my team's heads. I was slightly surprised to find that it feels completely natural to me. (Shouldn't be. When I'm tired I revert back to thinking of driving Australian-style.)
• I'm still not sure if the road out the front of our house is a street or a driveway.
• There are roundabouts everywhere on the highways. (Mom, you'd love it!)
• We took a detour from the main highway, because of roadworks. It was super cool to drive through towns where ordinary people live. (As opposed to places that are obviously touristy.)
• I wish Dara was here. She would love all the birds. There was a little red bird, and there's another brown bird with a black head, black tuft on its head and white eyes. There are also a bunch of weaver bird nests in the casurina across the road.
• I love houses in warm climates, where the distinction between outside and inside is blurred. The windows here are wide open, and we have barn-style doors to the outside, so you can leave the top wide open. Our bedroom 'door' is a curtain. There's a balcony off the girls' and guys' room. And the dining table is on the back verandah.
• I'm grateful for Wifi. It's really weird, though, being on the other side of the world, and still being able to do all my usual internet things.
• Baby pineapples are super cute.
• We ate breakfast on the plane at 4:30am Mauritius time. Then we had Second Breakfast at about 10:30am. We're becoming Hobbits.
• Not packing flip-flops was a BAD idea.

Now, to go find ways to stay awake until after supper. . . .

Arrival in Mauritius (Pt 1 - The Journey)

Please forgive me if this post is somewhat scatterbrained. My brain is running on little sleep and is currently jet-lagged.

April 22 was a day packed full of emotions and events. And actual packing. My finances for outreach were finally sorted out. The day before I had a bunch of money left to pay for outreach, and had no idea where it was coming from. I was stressed. Céline prayed for me, and I calmed down. God gave me incredible peace, and reassurance that I would be on the plane to Mauritius the next day. On the morning of April 22, it turned out I was doubly covered for the amount I had left to pay. So we were able to help another one of the guys who didn't have the finances for outreach. (His story is amazing. At the beginning of the day he needed $3800, the cost for the whole outreach. By the afternoon, it had all been provided for.) So at lunch there was an announcement that ALL the students had all the money they needed for outreach. Yay God!

We were also waiting on Billy's visa to arrive. Billy is part of the Mauritius team, but needed a specific visa before he could go on the plane. We were hoping it would arrive April 22, before we left at 2:30pm for the airport.

After lunch we had a time to say goodbye to everyone on the base. It made me realize how much I've come to love all the people part of my DTS and YWAM Dunham. I'll miss all the people going to Argentina and French Polynesia, and staying in Quebec. (I'll spare you the specifics of what I love about each one, 'cause they could take up a blog post on their own.) They'll have amazing stories to tell when they get back, though.

Billy had to cancel his plane ticket, because we had no word of his visa. But he still came with us to the airport. When we got to the airport, we discovered his visa had arrived. Bummer. We had to say goodbye to Billy at the airport, but we knew he would be on a flight soon after ours. Later we found out he would be on the next plane to Mauritius, and as I write this, he's waiting in the Paris airport to catch the plane here.

We flew for 7 hours from Montreal to Paris, overnight. We left as the sun was setting, and arrived early in the morning in Paris. (Time shortens when you fly east.) The ground looked like a patchwork quilt, with brown, yellow and green in irregular patches. The yellow is Canola. No fair. It's already blooming in April (in Alberta it blooms in July).

We had an 8 hour layover in Paris. We spent the first half sleeping, and the second half playing games around a table.

The evening of the 23rd we left Paris. The next flight, to Mauritius, was 12 hours long. I was at a window seat. Yay! We flew over the alps, and along the coast of Italy, so there was good scenery to see. Sunset was amazing; everything was subtle shades of pink, purple, blue and yellow. And stargazing from planes is EPIC.

We arrived in Mauritius at about 6am. So we got to see the sunrise over the Indian Ocean. After a bit of an adventure with immigration (nothing too bad, just lots of questions), we entered the country. Gary, one of the guys from YWAM Mauritus, met us at the airport. He and our leader, Ben, were both in Dunham for about a year together.

The airport is in the south part of the island, and where we're staying is in the north, so we drove for 1 1/2 hours through gorgeous, green Mauritian countryside. Then we arrived at the house. It's a largish house, in an area that's a bit more touristy. The house is owned by a lady from England (I think), who often hosts YWAMers and other people. It's a gorgeous place, and will be our home for the next two months.

After we got a bit of an introduction to our hosts and house, we unpacked. Then we went for a walk in an effort to stay awake, and went to the beach. It's right by a hotel, so there are lots of touristy things around. We came back, got to know Gary better, ate lunch, and I worked on a blog post. :)