Expectations

For years I lived in the slavery of should. "I should wake up earlier. I should obey God. I should always tell the truth. I should dress a certain way. I should be nice to people. I shouldn't be unhappy. I shouldn't hang out with guys. I shouldn't think this about that person."

Should was a hard taskmaster. He kept me bound with chains of fear and beat me to a bloody pulp with condemnation.

But if Should was my slave driver, then Expectation was the evil baroness who ran the estate, and gave Should his orders.

Expectations that I should always be cheerful. Expectations to honour my elders. Expectations to wake up at a certain time, work in a certain way, make and create in a prescribed manner. Expectations to be kind to people.

These expectations came from society, my parents, my friends, books, and most of all myself. Somehow, I thought that God had expectations of me too. Like he expects me to act in a certain way, and if I don't, I will let Him down, disappoint Him.

But here's the thing: God doesn't place expectations on people.

Sure, He tells them, "If you do this, than that will happen." There are consequences to our actions. He reminds us who we are. If we are in Christ, we are new creations. When we forget, and start living like our old selves, He gently reminds us, "This is not who you are. Here, this is how a new creation lives and acts."

He sees who we truly are. He knows everything we are, anything we've ever done, and everything we'll ever do. How can we disappoint someone who already knows the depths we've sunk to, and yet chooses to still love us?

We cannot disappoint God. When does disappointment happen? When we expect something to happen a certain way, but it doesn't. Expectations don't live up to reality. But since God KNOWS what's going to happen, and everything lives in His Reality, how can He be disappointed?

We cannot let God down. He's already seen our weaknesses and flaws. And He is greater. He is so much higher. He is strong enough to save, and He will accomplish what He set out to do.


Until now, Expectations have been my motivation. The expectations of my friends, my family, my society, me, and what I thought was God were the driving force behind everything I did.

Now I see that God doesn't have expectations of me. He doesn't sit in Heaven, offering us a 'choice' but subtly expecting me to choose the 'right' option. He does let me know what the results of my choice will be. But He isn't silently pressuring me to choose one particular option. I am free to choose whatever I wish.

Crazy, terrifying. I am free to choose. Why has God given mankind the terrible, beautiful choice of complete free will? (Love.) I don't know why He trusts us to choose. But He does.

I am free to choose. No expectations. With grace to catch me, and love to hold me, and His loving arms always, always there. And yet, still, He offers me the choice to turn away if I wish.

But I don't. How could I turn away from such a One as Him? The One who offers true freedom, the utter opposite of Should and Expectation.