I am so done with oppression
repression
depression
legalism
should
being the responsible one
the model student
the conscientious girl
I just want to be
LYNDALL;
live fully in who God made me to be
No blocks
living in freedom
living in love
living
no more rules
no more "11 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Hug Him"
no more 'guard your heart' with fear and logic
this heart wants OUT
this heart wants to love
this heart wants to EXPRESS
this heart wants freedom
this heart wants connection
Tuesday, 23 May 2017
Saturday, 13 May 2017
The Garden (A first draft)
Once
upon a time there was a girl who was entrusted with the care of a fresh, new
garden. It was a pretty, delicate space, with young saplings and little clumps
of bulbs and small twigs of perennial bushes. Thin, sparse blades poked through
the brown earth, needling timidly out of the ground. It was a land full of
promise and expectation, beautiful in its own way, but promising greater
richness, fullness and splendour.
The
girl was awed and intimidated by the weight of the gift she had been given. She
loved the garden, its quiet spaces and its new life. As she talked with others,
they were happy for her, and offered her some advice. They told her to watch
out for the deer who liked to eat fresh buds, and the men who liked to trample
the ground, slashing trees and uprooting bushes. The girl was afraid, so she
turned to the books in her library for advice. Each one recommended something
slightly different: a hedge, a fence, a wall. That would protect the plants
from the marauders and intruders.
And
so the girl began to build. Thick, white bricks. Taller and taller the wall
grew, and the townspeople nodded in approval. This girl was smart. She knew how
to take care of her garden. True, they could no longer see the dogwood and the
apple blooming, but surely it was better that the trees WOULD bloom, and that
the wall could give them an opportunity to do so. Besides, thought the girl,
she could tear down the wall once the garden was well-established and the trees
and plants would no longer be in danger from vandals or wild beasts.
Finally,
the wall was complete, and the girl could rest easy, knowing her garden was
safe. She spent many days, tending to the trees and flowers inside the quiet
safety of the wall.
After
a time, she realized how very silent and lonely it was behind the wall. She
heard the thrum and hum of the town beyond the wall, and realized how very
selfish and isolated she had been. And so she knocked a hole in the wall, and
built a gate. She created paths through the garden, placed low chain barriers
on either side of the paths, and set up park benches. Then she flung wide the
gates and proclaimed to the townspeople that her garden was open. She brought
them in by ones and twos and fives and tens. The townspeople oohed and ahhed at
the beauty of the garden, and many found rest and restoration for their souls.
The trees and flowers and bushes had grown larger and more glorious, and many
began to bear fruit. The girl would pick the fruit and distribute it to her
visitors, and many were refreshed. The girl was happy that she could share the
garden with many, and allow them to experience its splendour. No longer was she
lonely and isolated. Many townspeople came to visit with her, and she enjoyed
their company.
And
all was well.
For
a time.
There
was an expert gardener in the town who came often to visit the girls garden. He
would sit and observe, and watch the plants sway in the breeze. He studied the
plants from afar, for he knew to stay on the paths and not venture on to the
grass. But as time went on, he saw things that made his eyes scrinch in concern.
Something was amiss in the garden. The stems and stalks had to lengthen and
lighten, and the leaves became pale. The plants were tall and green, but weak
and gangly.
He
approached the girl. The wall, he said, had to go. It was blocking the light,
and the plants were not able to grow as strong and whole as they ought.
Sunshine. The garden needed to be opened to sunshine.
The
girl blanched. The walls were there for a very good reason. They kept out the
marauders and the wild beasts. And they kept the townspeople from wandering
wherever they pleased. What if they wished to pick fruit for themselves? That
would not do. No, it would not do at all. And so the girl politely asked the
gardener to leave.
Months
passed, and the trees and bushes and plants and flowers grew taller and
spindlier. One night, there was a storm, and much of the flora, too tall for
their roots, collapsed. The next day, the girl walked among the garden,
tightness in her chest and prickles in her eyes. No, this garden was not
healthy. And so, that day, she invited the gardener back, and together they
pulled down the wall, brick by brick. The townspeople watched with interest.
Some were skeptical, and warned her that she was a fool; the wild beasts and
the wild men would have free range now that the wall was gone.
The
day after the wall came completely down, the very worst thing the girl could
imagine happened. A band of vandals saw their opportunity and snuck into the
garden late at night. But before they could break the first branch, a neighbour
lady looked out the window, and saw shadows that ought not to be in a garden.
Curiously, she came out to the step holding a lamp. Seeing the men of wicked
intent, she yelled to her husband. Together, they stalked to the garden. The
vandals fled.
The
next day, the girl heard the story from her neighbour. The townspeople were
glad to hear the vandals had been frightened away. Taking a deep breath, the
girl invited the townspeople onto the lawn, to enjoy the garden, as thanks. As
she watched her garden, she noticed deer creeping close to eat the tulip buds. But
the townspeople spread out, giggling and laughing, delighting in the soft grass
and the broad shade of the maples and the sweetness of mulberries, strawberries
and currants. The deer bolted, and moved on to another place, disturbed by all
the commotion.
And
so the girl thanked the gardener for helping to remove the wall. The plants
grew broad and strong and green and rich. The townspeople were enriched by the
garden, and the girl was happy, for she never lacked companionship, joy or
laughter.
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